A Family Man

Allan’s family truly encompassed his life. There are only a few periods in his life that wasn’t influenced or centered on his family, whether it was his parents, brothers and sisters, his kind extended family, in-laws, or his wife and children. He often spoke about his wife and kids with his coworkers and business associates leading several of them, when asked to comment on Allan’s life, to designate him as a “family man.” In a life statement which Allan wrote in college, he states seven lifetime goals, one of which was “to have a strong, interdependent, autonomous and spiritual family.” He envisioned his family would be built on the values of service, self-sufficiency and the doctrines of eternal life. It is only appropriate to recognize Dad’s love for his family and some of the principle he strived to live by in building and maintaining family relationships.

In some notes on a talk Allan gave in a church meeting on the topic of families, he gives three main points to becoming a better husband and father. “First,” he says “we need to understand and believe in ourselves.” Allan teaches us that we should understand that we are children of God and that we are not alone. It is abundantly clear that Dad understood this principle. He would frequently teach this to his children in family home evenings and share testimony of it in more public settings. Many, many of his journal entries have an eternal perspective and his discourses on prayer and the knowledge that God loves us were abundant.

“Secondly,” he continues, “we need to know how to relate to others.” He instructs that our relationships should be based on love, honesty, sincerity, and commitment. It seems this was one of Dad’s life ambitions, to be a master at relating with others. This is demonstrated in his aspirations to teach and to perfect his aptitude for telling stories. As his son, I can personally attest to his commitment to developing healthy relationships. As I grew, I became more and more attracted to athletics and the outdoors. Neither of these were favorites of my father. He would just as well have a comfortable lawn chair and a good book, or be engaged in a philosophical conversation on a porch swing. But he knew how important his relationship with his son should be and he also knew the greatest way to show love for his children was to spend time with them. Dad took a sincere interest in some of my activities. One I remember in particular was baseball. He never professed to have any kind of special knowledge about the sport but very rarely declined the invitation to play catch, or take batting practice. On one occasion, he even took me into the city to watch a Mets game as a belayed birthday present. His dedication to his relationships with his children became a great strength in his family.

“Third,” he teaches, “we need to prepare some needful things.” He references Doctrine and Covenants 88:119; “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” So many of his experiences were focused on his family and establishing these essential characteristics of a righteous home. David O. McKay, the president of the church for nearly all of Allan’s youth, and not coincidentally one of his favorite prophets and speakers, said in a general conference address; ”The bringing of children into the world bears with it great responsibilities and opens to view the noblest purpose of life, namely, a co-partnership with deity ‘to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” As his actions confirm, Allan truly was a “family man.”